I had the crazy idea that i would make most of the gifts I was going to offer at Christmas this year. I didn’t get an early start, about mid November I think and today the first piece shipped, the other four should ship tomorrow, I’ve been able to deliver some in person and have a few more to deliver.
I made simple things since I’m no artisan. I made necklaces for the ladies in the office and some things for my brothers and sisters and special people in my life. While working on the necklaces I had a flasback to 1994 when my wife was t’boned in a car wreck in Blacksburg, a small enough town that one of the neighbors who saw it called the house. I was mowing the yard, a six hour process back then when Erin brought out the phone to me. The message was simple “come to this intersection, she’s hurt, leave the girls with me” I remember bundling up Erin and Maggie in their car seats, putting on the emergency flashers and zipping down the hill and over to the scene. There were so many cars blocking the street I drove up on the sidewalk which either Erin or Maggie made a comment about. At the scene i walked them to the neighbor who would look after them while i looked after Linda. When we walked by, the girls looked, saw her bent over the steering wheel and asked “why is mommy sleeping?” I don’t remember answering, just the look on Erin’s face staring at her mom in a crumpled car. I told them I’d take care of mom, they should be good for the neighbor, who walked them to her home. I walked to the car as the rescue squad was getting ready to extract Linda. The door post had been driven deeply into the side of the drivers seat, and thus into Linda, breaking ribs, they removed what was left of the door and i climbed in while they were planning their next demolition action. The plan was to lift her out through the windshield and were preparing to break it in on her when i pointed out it was held in with a zipper gasket that they could pull, and remove the windshield with no risk of flying glass. It worked and they extracted her. At the hospital the broken rib punctured her lung, I saw it happen, all the color drained from her as her lung collapsed. The doctor inserted a tube and reinflated her lung and she was stable for the night.
I picked up the girls from the neighbors, thanked them, updated them and took the girls home explaining that mommy would be in the hospital for a while but that we could go visit.
The next day the porch was the scene of a non stop parade of flowers, hot dishes, desserts and soups. The church and school had heard and were supporting us in full force. All the strangers coming and going seemed to make Erin and Maggie uncomfortable, they stopped talking. I thought I needed to spend a lot of time with them to be sure they were ok. They had been making bead jewelry with small plastic beads and twine and when I asked what we could give to all the people bringing flowers and food, they suggested bead necklaces.
We spent the next day at seeds of light. It turned out to be a real treat for them, buying whatever glass, stone or metal beads they wanted. Once home, they’d organize their beads in trays and sit together on the floor, in the sun, trading beads with each other until they were satisfied they both had what they wanted, then they both said “deal done” and that was that.
I lay on the floor with them squinting to see the small beads and to string them on in a pattern or a mono-color necklace while the three of us discussed the accident, moms recovery, how we would have to convert the living room into a bedroom for mom’s hospital bed and they seemed fine with all that, very chatty, it all felt normal. We began discussing the designs of the necklaces. Maggie tried to match something the person had worn, Erin was starting that way, but freestyling when needed.
We beaded for about a week, taking breaks to go to the hospital or to deliver necklaces, Linda came home to the hospital bed in the living room and things worked their way back to normal.
I think about all this when I started making necklaces for the women I work with. I remembered how I had used beading to spend time with my daughters and be sure they were not afraid of the accident. Looking back, as scary as it was, as hard as it was to have Linda recovering in the living room, I loved those days laying on the floor with Erin and Maggie. Making small talk, having them teach me the knots, color patterns, trading, but mostly being with them while we worked.
This year as I was beading, I was able to think about who I was making for, what they might like, how to express their persona and role through the designs. Each necklace took about a night to make, the boxes took another few nights, but I enjoyed thinking about them. Their laughs, their interests, their ways of enlivening the office. I don’t know if I really was able to capture a bit of their persona in what I made, but the act of making…selecting…designing…fabricating connected me to them and I think its how gifting should work for me. I need to be thinking hard about a person, and make instead of buy.
When i gave these presents, they were warmly received. I had been showing samples around earlier to get their input into clasps, colors, designs, they were surprised that I had been showing them their gifts at various stages of development…but graciously accepted them anyway.
I made a gift for my sisters and brother too, something to symbolize the six of us children all together. Each different, distinct, but unified by family. I’m not sure how these will be received, but enjoyed remembering Terri’s record collection …(some guy Zally?) and Barbs work with the recycling center in high school…what was that fellows name?….and Lori’s 12 string guitar playing, I miss that still, and Ginny’s energy which got her a protective football helmet to wear until her nose healed. I remember my brother and I playing catch or running bases, and remember I haven’t been much of a brother to him. I hope this major award thats on its way to Lori’s for him will make up for some of what i did and didn’t do for him/to him.
I’m making more gifts for Erin and Maggie and other people close to me. I’ve made cards finally and hope to have those in the mail soon.
Whether card, gift, or box i think the best part is the memories that the person brings back when you make something for them.
I’ll be away from family this Christmas, am looking forward to making a Christmas here in Texas, but I’ll be thinking of you all. Missing my daughters, brother and sisters, friends in Fargo and Blacksburg, but I’ve visited their memories through this process, and it makes me feel less alone as we approach the longest night of the year.
I hope you are with friends, family and those you love this holiday season. If you can’t be with them, think of them, remember them, maybe even facebook them. The holidays are a season of community I think, and though mine is spread across a few time zones and a continent, I feel close to them all, shed blood for them all (never look up when cutting out cards!) and tried to make a part of me that won’t be too hideous to wear or have on display….I’m not sure about that part, I’ll have to wait for the reviews.
Happy Holidays to you all! Travel Safely, Be good to each other.
