You have to take your lumps

Benjamin Disraeli said “Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.”

Life has incredible inertia, in acting to overcome that inertia one takes a great risk. The action may 1, amount to nothing, the action may 2, lead to a life that is worse than the stasis one was experiencing before acting, or the action may 3, lead to a joyful life, filled with hope, satisfaction, kindness, all the things one always hoped for but never could quite gather up in one life.

The negative aspects of the first two possible outcomes of acting to find happiness are obvious and substantial risks. I think they define the inertia that binds us in our lives. We naturally don’t want to end up in a worse place than the one we started, yet there are no assurances that action will lead to happiness…

Even when we do get outcome number 3, the life we always dreamed, someone will be made unhappy, often someone who had a stake in our inaction keeping us in our unhappy lives. But there are surprises too, people you thought would be in your corner, who would share in your happiness sometimes can’t accept the change quickly, or had their own vision of how your path to happiness should progress, and may not be able to be happy for you as you make a change.

Yet, action is necessary to get to happiness. Happiness just doesn’t seem to fall out of the sky for most of us. So to act is to risk…not only may the action not put you in a better place, but it may distance you from those you love. This is the hardest part of acting, maybe also the most selfish part. To act is to risk losing their love, yet, often it seems, to not act is to be unable to return their love.

So to be the best person we can be, we must act, we must risk, or all we can do is offer the numbed part of us to those we love, to offer less than we know we could.

To be safe, we position ourselves through inaction to be less to family and friends.

To be happy, we risk not meeting the expectations of our loved ones.

What to do? I took the risk, I am happier, now I have to take the lumps from the loved ones and hope their love was real, hope they can see past the action.

Time will tell I guess.
Take Care, Be Good to Each Other, Support a risk taker in their quest for happiness….one day it may be you.

2 Responses to “You have to take your lumps”

  1. tacousar says:

    Amen, brother. I remember when I was married to Jerry. I remember how horrible it was. I remember wanting to die cuz I just couldn’t take it anymore. He was like living with a time bomb. I remember the years of counseling it took to convince me that I had a right to pursue happiness! and how upset Mom–especially Mom–and Dad were with me when I finally took an action to make that happen. I know it feels bad to hurt people who love us. But it feels worse to be in a situation that simply doesn’t work or is hurtful to US. You’re right, action is risky. And you really DO find out who loves you! And not acting…inertia…is death by inches.

    love,
    Terri

  2. Ginny says:

    Always remember, nothing changes – if nothing changes.

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